Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Dear well intentioned, interfering *#%!

Dear well intentioned, interfering BITCH person,

You do not know my child.  You do not know me.  So for you to stand behind me and comment “poor thing, she’s terrified!” in a tone of horror while my child pitches a fit (and I am dealing with said fit pitching) does not help.

For you to further bend down, give my child a hug while I walk away two feet so that my child will follow me is fricken inappropriate.  I did not abandon my child.  I am close enough to touch her, yet you think you know better than I how to handle her?

Let me tell you what you did.  For that second you managed to calm her down, she learned that if mommy isn’t giving her what she needs she can go to random strangers and scream/cry/throw herself on the ground to try and achieve her objective.  This means that I must now chase said child while my other children try to keep up or are dragged to where fit throwing child is.

You managed to prolong this incident to a 30 minute scream fest.  Thanks.  You can’t possible realize how fun it is to try to deal with a slippery wet child who has just come out of the pool in the locker room, as she throws herself on the floor in front of other mothers (who know dang well to leave her alone, ignore her and let her own mom deal with her!)

What you did is piss me off.  My fit throwing kid didn’t get me as angry as you did with your condescending attitude!  It’s been hours and I’m still pissed at you.

Before you decide it’s your god given right to interfere next time, consider this:

  • You don’t know the child—the child may have mental difficulties even if they look “normal” and you messing up the chain of communication between parent and child is not helpful.

  • Sometimes a parent must physically restrain a child to keep said child from hurting themselves.  It is not abuse; it is for the child’s own good.  Go to an occupational therapy session sometime and you may learn a thing or too.

  • Not every child is wired the same.  How you treat the children around you is not how every child should be treated.  If the parent is doing what they can do, in a calm manner, who the hell are you to yell out your two cents?

  • You don’t know the situation…so butt out.  Do you know why the child is crying?  Do you know what that child needs to calm down?  Do you thing you as a stranger trying to comfort a 2 year old, who is not in a rational state, while their mother is right there is a good idea?  You are so lucky I was in a decent mood or I would have told you off—yeah, that’s right, my child was throwing the mother of all fits and my mood was fine.  As the day’s gone on and I think about what you did it’s gone right down the toilet!

I see things like this every day, but I don’t interfere.  If I have a better way to handle the situation I’ll let the parent know after they have dealt with their child or the next time I see them, NOT in the moment when the parent needs to try to regain control of the situation.  AND as a stranger I’m not about to place my hands on any child, even to comfort—so keep them to yourself next time!

So well intentioned, interfering BITCH person, next time think about your actions.

And just in case you were wondering, my child was happy, laughing and fun loving after going through our “calm down” process…which took a whole lot longer thanks to your brand of “help.”


aimeewrites said...

Holy crap. I kind of wish you HAD told her off. Ridiculous!!

Lori said...

That makes me mad too. Probably because I've encountered similar 'helpers' in my life. Who do these people think they are? Who knows a child better than their parent/care giver????

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